Sunday, December 11, 2011

My Daddy by John Hawley

The following was written by my husband, and I liked the story so much I had to put in on the blog. I think he's a lot better at writing than he gives himself credit. It's a sweet story, I hope you enjoy and feel free to leave comments if you like it.

My Daddy

It was long ago, but she still remembered. A time when her owner was full of life and joy, a time when she was young and spry. He used to play with her all day, scratch her chin, and she'd sleep between his left arm and his chest, snuggling as close as she possibly could. Times like those made her one happy kitty. She never thought of him as her owner, but as her Daddy.

Life had changed a lot since those days, her Daddy had gotten sick and was very weak, she had reached her final years. There was no longer a spring to her step and her joints ached, her Daddy wasn't feeling much better. She didn't know what was wrong with him, he just slept all day, he had little motivation and had lost a lot of weight.

There were however, the memories. Memories of all they had been through together A time when she needed a very expensive surgery and her Daddy had paid for it. Others would have put their pet down, but Daddy thought she was worth all the money in the world. She loved him so much for this display of loyalty and affection.

Sometimes he would get a bad cold and was bedridden for days. She would lay in that particular spot between his left arm and chest and purr, purr, purr just to comfort him. It would seem, at least to her, that cuddling next to her Daddy would help him get better faster.

On her birthday he would always get her canned kitty food, her favorite thing in the whole world... besides her Daddy. He'd play for what seemed like forever with her favorite string and shower her in catnip. She recalls when she was just a baby kitten that he'd give her warm milk.

With these thoughts in her head she slowly, painfully, crawled into bed with him, nestling herself in her favorite spot between his left arm and chest. She purred a deep, contented purr, seemingly at peace with all that had come their way. Her Daddy's pulse began to weaken as well as hers, but she still purred just as loudly and proud as she could, she did after all, love her Daddy.

As the life and light began to leave her eyes and their pulses stopped, all was not lost, they were not gone, but instead together again in Heaven, just as happy as they'd ever been.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Kendall the Diva Kitty

We're going to do a cat post today! Today is all about our Diva kitty, Kendall.

Diva Kitty strikes a dramatic pose!
Her full name is Weinekendall Drinkwise Boozewalker on account that when she was a kitten she used to run into walls a lot. I didn't know her back then, so I go on hubby's word for her seeming drunkenness.

She is also known as the Great Kendallfini because she likes to put on a show. When she is dancing, she likes to be known as Disco Kendall.

Now, you may ask, why is she our diva kitty?

It all started when we gave her a summer shave. Back story time! See, Kendall didn't take the best of care of her fur. When we were in the apartment her teeth went bad. She doesn't have most of them now, nearly all her back teeth had to be taken out as a result of how bad the infection in her mouth had spread. We did the best we could to help her fur become healthy again while she got used to not being able to break big bits of kibble. Turns out, by the way, cats don't chew their food, at best they break hard food into smaller bits and swallow it all whole. That's why most cat puke has whole bits of kibble in it. Anyway. We moved into the house and Kendall seemed to be taking great care of her fur, horray!
"Dis my laptop. Now pet me"

The fast forward a year and again her fur is getting a little dirty, she has a hard time keeping up with it. It shows dirt easy and gets clumped up really fast. So we borrowed the fur shaver from my sister in law and proceeded last summer to give her a buzz cut to end all buzz cuts. (Ara also got one, but she gets buzzed every summer, her long hair is hard for her to keep up in her elderly years and gets matted every spring)

Well, when Kendall was shaved down we realized how incredibly soft her under fur is, and what a lovely light orange color! It was really beautiful! We had to leave her legs long, and her face and tail. So it looked like she was wearing a tight gold dress and her leg fur was sticking out like she was wearing some kind of fuzzy gloves. The effect was striking and looked really cute! And, most importantly, she loved it. She perked up without all that fur and demanded we pet her short stubble all the time.

"Mommy, daddy! Look at my beautiful dress!" she seemed to meow, "pay attention to my pretty self and pet me! Give me lots of attention because I am beautiful!"

We, being the consummate spoilers of kitties, obliged.
"I look down on you, silly humans"

Then we started to notice other diva behavior.

She would snub her brother, he wasn't good enough for her pretty self. She got picky about her food. She got even more picky about her water. Every morning she would meow at me until I put a fresh bowl of water down in the kitchen and then guard it like it was the fountain of youth from any other kitty that dared to want to drink her fresh water. We started putting bottled water in the big water bowl and she eventually did start drinking from there, but only if the water had been bottled and fresh.

Now she's got us trained. She will trot in front of us when we're walking through the house, meowing in her strange whine (which is where the Weine came from, she's always had this meow that sounds really pathetic and cute) and directing us to the kitchen where she wants gooshy food, or the litter box which she wants changed. We don't always give the gooshy food, but when we do, she refuses to eat it from a plate or the can. Hers must be served from a real bowl or she snubs it and meows at us until we put it in a bowl. This cat can tuck into her gooshy food, too, so it's really funny that she won't eat it from a plate or can.

"I'm so cute!"
We also have this little doll's bed from when I was a kid, and she's determined that is her blue rainbow bed and to heck with the other kitties! We have it set up near a heat vent and she loves to sit in it and preen. She gets this smug expression and gloats that she's got the bed, the warm bed.

She also demands that hubby leave the pillow or his left side free in case she wants to lay on his head, or in the crook of his arm at night. She isn't satisfied until he tucks the blanket around her if she's in his arm, and will drape her paw across his arm so he can't move it.

"I'm on your heat vent, stealing your heat"
It's really cute. Sometimes frustrating, but mostly cute and we indulge her diva behavior to a point. She doesn't always get what she wants, but she gets this spring in her step when she does that's so cute. It's like she floats across the floor with tiny ballerina steps, playing the part of the swan princess, the main part that only the best of dancers get.

So that's Kendall, our diva kitty. Some day I'll post about Kendall's great rivalry with Vivi, her arch nemesis. They have a long standing feud with each other that spans from the couch in the living room all the way to the litter box by the bedroom.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

RIP Anne McCaffrey

Today marks the death of one of the greatest sci-fi/fantasy authors I've ever read, Anne McCaffrey. She started me on the path of wanting to read and write fantasy.

I just thought I'd write some of the memories I have of her books and how they impacted my life. We'll see how much of this I can actually write without sniffling into the keyboard.

I first remember Anne McCaffrey books by Dragonflight, the first of the Dragonriders of Pern series that I read. Dad first recommended the book when I was 10 or so. I was too young to really understand it. Unfamiliar words and the fantasy ideas were not known to me. I couldn't keep all the people straight, but I loved the idea of being on a dragon. I'm pretty sure her books are what really started me on my obsession with dragons when I was a teen. In any case, after I read Dragonflight I found I really liked fantasy books, even if I lost a lot in that first reading from sheer confusion.

Her writing convinced me to go to the local library and get out of the teen section for real and look at adult fiction. I read as much as I could until I felt confident to re-read Dragonflight and understand it. I was nervous with that second reading. I wanted to understand the book so much I read it carefully. I normally speed through books, but I know I read this one slowly.

After that, I read the rest of the Dragonflight trilogy and loved The White Dragon. I quickly found her teen series, the Harper Hall series. By that time I was hooked.

(To be honest, the only Dragonriders of Pern book I have never finished was Moreta. Someday I really need to sit down and read it.)

The next really clear memory I have of her books is for her sci-fi book, The Rowan. I remember being over at a friend's house and her dad had the book laying out. I picked it up and started reading it, which looking back on it was probably pretty rude. I asked if I could borrow the book, but my friend's father wouldn't let me, the material was too mature, he said. I was in 6th grade. So I reserved the book at the library and got it when it came in next. I read that book incredibly quickly and read Damia, the second in the series. I never finished that series, I wasn't into sci-fi when I learned about the rest of the series, but I know my sister liked them.

Over the years I've read almost every Dragonriders of Pern book out there. Masterharper of Pern is by far my favorite, followed closely by Dolphins of Pern. Of course the Harper Hall trilogy is close to my heart, I always wanted to have my own fire-lizards, I even made a painting of it in high school. I loved that painting, of a small dragon curled around my fingers, but sadly I haven't been able to find it. No one in my family has it. I'm missing a whole slew of high school art projects but I don't know where any of them are, but it's the fire lizard painting I miss the most.

I thank Anne McCaffrey for giving me a love of the fantasy book, the quintessential novels that defined me as a teenager, her books helped me get through the worst of the teenage years when I just felt like I should do like Menolly and run away to my own secluded beach. My husband quickly realized how much I love her work, and over the past few years I have collected her Dragonriders books and a lot of her other books.

I even made her recipe for bubbly pies and tried to make klah (the Pern equivalent to coffee). The bubbly pies were tasty, but I will have to try the klah again, only use actual milk and sugar to sweeten it. I didn't know how bitter coffee was the time I made it. Heh. The recipes are in Dragonlovers Guide to Pern.

I want to thank her for being such a humble and amazing person. Her interviews always made me respect her. When asked about religion on Pern once, I remember she was told there had to be religion on Pern. No society could grow without one, she was told. Anne McCaffrey replied that it was her story and she could do with it what she wanted. This made me realize that books are whatever the author wants them to be, and I think that helped me want to be a writer. To make a world of your own design, how awesome is that?

I always loved reading her bio: "My hair is silver, my eyes are green and I still freckle: the rest is subject to change without notice."

Thank you Anne McCaffrey, you will be missed. I hope you're riding your own golden queen dragon in heaven.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Flash Fiction Challenge: Seagull

It's time again for a Flash Fiction Challenge by Terrible Minds. This week it's a 100 word challenge using the words Frog, Powder, Seagull, Tower or Scissors. I choose seagull.  Enjoy!

Beth hadn't asked for a seagull for Christmas, but she got one. Her insane mother always gave the strangest gifts and liked to stab things with chopsticks. Well, at least Beth had free fowl for dinner. Except neither knew the seagull killed by chopsticks to the heart had been a vampire in daylight flight form. So when Beth was found December 26th with her blood drained, no one could blame her mother. Beth ate a vampire seagull for Christmas dinner and she became dinner herself. Her mother got her revenge by doing what she liked best, stabbing more things with chopsticks. And eating a lot of seagulls.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

My Journal Post about Great Grandma

This is an excerpt from my own journal (the terrible spelling has been corrected) soon after my Great Grandma died. I found the journal and remembered I wrote this. I think it's appropriate to post this. After November's writing craziness I'll post the second diary I have of Great Grandma. 

January 13, 2002 - J-term sophomore year, 6:30 AM

Great Grandma Redfearn, my hero, the model of woman I want to be when I'm old, died two days ago of a heart attack. I don't know much more about how or why she died, save old age. I'm going to miss her terribly. She was someone I so greatly admired, she became my hero. She was living alone at 96 years old, able to tell stories of how she gave a pumpkin pie to the construction workers and knew how many great great great grandchildren she had. She was such an amazing person, but I know she had to die, old age was starting to wear on her and I'm sure she wanted to be with her friends and family in the afterlife... Still I miss her.

I know she didn't want people to mourn her loss but celebrate her life, so I'll try. To remember her life. Like the honeysuckles outside her home and how she wanted plants and a bird feeder outside her bedroom window. Her tall and hard bed, the 3-D pictographs and old toys. Her bony and firm hugs. How she loved to cook with her old wood burning stove and cooked the absolute best mashed potatoes and gravy... All the shells she had, yet she'd never seen the ocean. Her white hair, all the jokes she made. She was so amazing... She was one of the coolest people I think I'll ever know. God I miss her, and I wish her a good and happy afterlife. May she rest in peace.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Diary of my Great Grandma Part 3

The following is written by my Great Grandmother Irene Redfearn. You can find all the posts I will make about her here. She was an amazing woman and the below is what she wrote at the request of her family. I will post the entire letter in intervals as it is quite long.  This is the last of the first set of letters I have put onto the computer, the rest will follow as I get them typed!

The twins were born on the 80 acres. They were three months premature. They weighed 3 lbs. apiece. The doctor didn’t expect them to live. They were born on the farm, no water in the house, a cook stove in the kitchen and a wood and coal heater in the living room. The twins never cried till 2 months old and never opened their eyes till 2 months old. I milked a few drops of milk into their mouths and heated the water bottles every 3 hours and kept the wood and coal in the stove every four hours. But they survived the 1st of December. They didn’t have no toenails of fingernails and had to be washed in olive oil only. Their skin wasn’t or couldn’t be washed with soap. I could put both of them into a man’s shoe box. I never went anywhere till 6 months. In June I took them to his folk’s home for the first time.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Diary of my Great Grandma Part 2

The following is written by my Great Grandmother Irene Redfearn. You can find all the posts I will make about her here. She was an amazing woman and the below is what she wrote at the request of her family. I will post the entire letter in intervals as it is quite long. When I refer to Grandma, it is my Grandma Collum, one of Irene's children and it is usually information she filled in for me. Enjoy!

I met my husband in Gladbrook one afternoon, he was with one of his friends and I met him in Lincoln different times when I was at John’s. We met at Lincoln, IA and I went with him off and on for two years. And I got married March 27, 1923. I had met his parents before when I was at brother John’s.

Harry Redfern was in the service in Mexico and Texas for two years. (note from Grandma, Irene bought Harry out of the army so he wouldn’t get hurt before he joined the war.) Then we worked for farmers as hired hands. Then we went through 1929 depression days. We worked for people just so we had a house to live in.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Diary of my Great Grandma Part 1

The following is written by my Great Grandmother Irene Redfearn. You can find all the posts I will make about her here. She was an amazing woman and the below is what she wrote at the request of her family.  I will post the entire letter in intervals as it is quite long.

My Grandma Collum was one of Great Grandma Redfearn’s children, born over 10 years after the coal mine incident. She is the one that gave me a copy of these letters. I have cleaned up the writing to make more sense, but I’ve tried to keep Great Grandma’s writing style as intact as I could. Please read and enjoy!

I’m Irene Hazel Reese. Born May 11, 1905. When I was 1 week old my parents named me my first name after Dr Walter’s daughter Irene. Dr Walter was our family doctor for years. I was the 9th child of 12 children. When I was a week old Dr Walter came back and thought I had pneumonia so put a mustard plastic jacket on me. I often wonder if I had a heart effect then. Doctors didn’t know babies were born with heart problems then. My parents bought prairie land and built a small home in 1880. Mother came to USA at 9 years old on a ship with her aunts and kids. My father was born in Iowa by green island in a log cabin near Clinton, Iowa.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011


So this year I'm going to try the National Novel Writing Month in November.  For those of you that don't know, it's a month where you are challenged to write 50,000 words of a novel in one month.  Dang that's a lot of words!

I'm doing this mostly to have fun, but also to see if I can get something written.  It doesn't matter as much the quality, as long as the writing just gets done.  So I have an outline, character sheets, and a world and plot to go off of and in a couple of weeks I'll be cranking out as many words as I can every day between work and home life.  Whew!  We'll see how well I do!

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Pumpkin Festival 2011

Every year we go to this pumpkin festival at Washington Park, here's some of the pumpkins.  They were some really good ones, here's the best ones we saw!


Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Mr. Cupicake gets no frosting

Here's a comic I decided to make because it was funny, probably funnier in my head than on paper, but enjoy!  Mr Crabbypants suuuure has big pants.


Saturday, October 1, 2011

Cheri the Book Licker

Cheri is our resident weird cat.  One of her strangest and sometimes most annoying habit is her love to lick.  And slobber.  This cat loves, I mean seriously loves to lick our monthly Game Informers.

She loves to lick books too.  We had one of those fancy type books that I picked up because it had red tipped pages, you know, like how bibles have the gold edging on the pages.  Well, Cheri found this book and decided she really, really liked the taste of the red dye.  By the time we found out, her tongue was bright red like a kid with a cherry Popsicle and the red on the book was all streaked from where she'd licked it off.

Serious, this cat has issues. 

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Great Grandma Redfearn

From Left to right:  Grandma Collum, Great Grandma Redfearn, my dad.
My older sister is in the blue and I'm in the pink shirt.
Photo is from my Great Grandma's house.
The past few weeks I've been typing up my Great Grandma Redfearn's history. She was pressured by the family to have a few things about her life written up so us great grandkids could read them. I'll be putting them up on my blog in a little while.

My great-grandmother has always been one of my heroes. As a little child I remember those visits to her little house in Hudson, IA with fondness. Hers was a place full of old things, things I didn't understand; some of the things frightened me and some were endlessly fascinating. And she was a pack-rat so there was a lot of things in her little house.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Three sentence story

Here's the new week's writing challenge at Terrible Minds. The challenge is to write a three sentence story, so I wrote the below and posted it on his webpage, but wanted to have it up here on the blog just for fun.

I dug my hands inch by inch into the water starved dirt around me and felt the earth itself cry for water, but eons of tears had evaporated before they even reached the parched ground.
I kept digging, day after day, month by month, until I was a husk of flesh as dry as the earth above me And I reached the water far below the surface.
I dropped my cracked and dry body into the water and felt the water shudder in surprise and realize it's mistake in thinking earth and water could ever be separated, and as the water rushed up the hole I'd made I knew I'd saved millions.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Binx the lil'man

Binx shortly after we got him. He's so tiny!
Binx, our newest kitty, is finally growing into his eyes. He was a tiny cat when we got him (or rather he got us, see the Meet the Cats post) all malnourished and a kitten still and boy he needed to put on some comfie eating pounds. His eyes were too big which gave him a cross-eyed look, which didn't help because he kind of stared at us a lot when he came inside, it was cute but made him look like a silly lil'man.

Well, bags of cat food later he's gotten quite the tummy and it quite the farter. He could clear a room with his stinky poos and his toots, but he loves his food. It looked really funny when he was so tiny because he had this huge bulging tubby gut poking out of a tiny kitten body. Well now he's getting the big cat body and it is matching his tubby bellah a lot better.

Friday, September 16, 2011

The perfect brew - Flash Fiction

Another 100 word story for Terrible Minds Flash Fiction challenge.  The challenge is to make a 100 word story using 3 of the following 5 words: Enzyme. Ivy. Bishop. Blister. Lollipop.
I feel like I cheated using Ivy as a name, so I used Enzyme, Blister and Lollipop.  It's slightly macabre, appropriate for Halloween coming up.

"Don't!" Mother said, pulling the chubby hand from the stove, "you'll blister! No lollipops today, my little Ivy. We're making something special." She smiled wide at Ivy.
It was a face only Mother could love; lumpy skin, a hint of a moustache over thick lips.
"Food?" asked the grossly fat child.
"Yes, darling, and enzymes. To make you beautiful." He mother smiled wide and soaked a loaf of bread with the cloudy liquid and threw the bread into a huge stainless steel vat. Ivy crawled in, eager for food.
A month later Mother poured a perfectly brewed dark beer from the vat and smiled as she drank. "Ivy’s Special Brew. Halloween edition.”

My strange cat Ara

My name is Ara, I will stalk you.
The other night Ara started doing something pretty strange. Now, Ara is our eldest cat, she's 13 and allowed her bouts of insanity.

I have this basket next to the bed where I put my chapstick, nail clipper, flashlight, batteries, cell phone that I use as my alarm clock, body spray for when the kitties go poopoo and it stinks to high heaven, and eye-mask. It's a full little basket. It's a pretty generic little basket, but it keeps my area next to the bed nice and tidy. Well as tidy as it can be with my c-pap hoses flying all over... Anyway.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Hubby the editor

Last night while trying to explain my story idea to my husband he told me my story was boring. And unlike the first time he told me and I got very quiet-rage-y this I trusted him. I thought back on what I'd written lately and how my story had gone and besides a few minor scenes that were pretty good... the rest of it was pretty crappy. Boring, really, like he said. With no point. And I'd told him what I'd been doing with my story and he did a great job of being an editor and told me I had to stop fixating on a character and start telling a bloody story.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

A tribute to dads

The below post isn't supposed to be political or anything. It's more just something I have observed in my little corner of the world. If anything, it shows the world's getting better about being equal, even if that means sometimes the muck gets spread evenly along with the good stuff.

So the other day I was in Walmart and saw something that made me pause for a second or two. I saw a 30 something pregnant woman come in wearing clothes a 13 year old would wear, chatting loudly on her cell phone and just being obnoxious. Pretty typical for Walmart, if you ask me. But behind here was the father (or boyfriend) carrying their first kid in his arms while the little girl slept.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Say Hello to our kitties!

Cats. We have cats. Eight of them to be exact. Now I know, eight cats you say, you must be a crazy cat lady! But there's having eight well adjusted cats and there's have too many cats to take care of. We take very good care of our eight and they're all healthy and happy.

They each have strange full names, subject to change at any time. They are our family and I wrote a little blurb on each (with pictures!) of them because they are each so different from each other.

In order of the date they joined my family:

Ara -
Ara complaining, as usual
Full name: Arakins Gozer Jones
Nicknames: The Dirty One, Steve
Title: Chaos God
Sex: Female
Age: 15
Type: Long hair calico
Personality: Yowling. I've had Ara since high school. She's got a mean streak a mile wide and doesn't care if you are being gentle, she'll howl at you as if you were killing her sometimes. But she's my little Ara baby and I love her and she runs to me as if getting pettin's was life or death. She is our only declawed cat, and she uses her voice in lieu of claws when the other cats bug her. She also is our only long hair and gets a summer shave, so half the year she's a pretend short-hair.
Likes: Catnip (she does the catnip worm dance), Pettings, but only on the chin or ears, Laying on a warm lap for hours
Dislikes: Anything else

Smokey being the Captain of the desk
Smokey - 2/1/03 - 8/23/13 Rest in Peace
Full name: Smokey James Hawley
Nicknames: Captian Smokey of the S.S.R Motorboat,
Title: Thunder God
Sex: Male
Age: 10
Type: Dark brown tabby/tortoiseshell
Personality: He's the dominate male and knows it. Hubby has been with Smokey since birth and the two have a very close bond. He deals with me, but he goes crazy for his daddy. Every night he's sleeping on hubby's pillow... or hubby's head. The two could snuggle for hours and I have never met a cat with such a strong bond with anyone. To the other cats he's the policeman. When he walks into the room all the others stop their bickering and don't look him in the eye.
Likes: Daddy, Burgers and fries, Cheese crackers
Dislikes: Catnip, Having his tail touched

Kendall being cute
Kendall -
Full name: Weinekendall Drinkwise Boozewalker
Nicknames: Kendall, The Great Kendallfini, Wizrobe
Title: Wind God
Sex: Female
Age: 10
Type: Orange tabby
Personality: She's called Whiny for a reason, she can be a loud one. She's from the same litter as Smokey. She's skittish and shy until she's higher than you or you're on the bed, then she's demanding for pettings and chin skritches. She whines loudly when you stop petting her. Out of the females Vivi or she would be the dominate females, and the two cats do not get along. She's a sweety, but don't be the cat that bugs her, she puts that loud voice to good use along with a swift left jab.
Likes: Clothes baskets, Being higher than you, Only lettuce from Subway
Dislikes: Vivi, New people

Vivi -
Vivi is not impressed
Full name: Norstein Dolph Vivler
Nicknames: Vivipoofer, Woopster
Title: Nightmare God
Sex: Female
Age: 6
Type: Black short-hair
Personality: Spitfire. She was mostly a kitten when hubby's sister found Vivi outside and took her in. We took Vivi shortly after that and she was nearly feral. One of our biggest fighters, we are convinced if a burglar comes they will be destroyed by Vivi. When she's not being aggressive, she goes absolutely crazy for pettings, to the point where she will play Godzilla-cat with everything between her and your fingers. Oh, and if she gets mad and we pick her up she goes "woop woop woop!" It's really cute.
Likes: Destruction, Her hobo-box (any cardboard box she can pounce out of), Fake mice, she will play fetch and tear out their innards and she knows them as her "babies", Feet and shoes
Dislikes: Kendall, Hates having her tail touched

Max -
Max loves sleeping weirdly
Full name: Maximomo Dudley Trouble
Nicknames: Maxipoofer, Moocow, Jeffrey, Dudley Moo-Right
Title: Gooshy Food God
Sex: Male
Age: 8
Type: Moo-cow, short haired
Personality: The most laid back cat ever in the history of ever. He's really big too, and it's not all just fat, he's got some serious muscle under his furry belly. He's like that large uncle that's really good with children because he lets them wrestle all over him and only moves if the wrestling gets out of hand. But the kids know they've crossed the line when he gets up and they all secretly fear he'll sit on them to get them to behave. He's taken over being the father figure to the kitten Binx and will sit on top of Binx just to lick Binx into submission. Oh, and he used to be an alley cat, so he eats cat food like there's no tomorrow.
Likes: Stinky shoes to lay on, Bird watching, Sleeping and eating
Dislikes: Having his belly rubbed like it's a guitar, Being ambushed

Cheri -
Cheri licking a book, yum?
Full name: Cherish Ralph Macchio
Nicknames: Cher-bear, Ralphinator
Title: Messenger of the Gods
Sex: Female
Age: 11
Type: Red tortoiseshell
Personality: Jumpy and skittish, but friendly. I got Cheri as a Christmas present to hubby the year we moved into our house and she's been a treat ever since. She's easily the most curious and most skittish cat. She'll approach something new with determination, then jump three feet high when it's not what she expects. She also loves to endlessly lick cardboard, sticky tape, books, anything paper. I have to hide new books from her or she'll lick them until the edges are soaking. When she meows, it sounds like she's saying "Ralph!" and we ask her to say Ralph to the point where she thinks that's her name.
Likes: Cardboard, books and Game Informers, Ear scratches, Clawing at your fingers till she gets her pettin's, Rays of sunlight
Dislikes: Sudden loud noises, Well, sudden anything

Binx: -
Binx eating, his favorite thing
Full name: Binxton Budrick Hardcastle
Nicknames: Binxybear, Binxereffic, Binxton
Title: Foul Oder Diety
Sex: Male
Age: 2
Type: Black short-hair
Personality: Affectionate and a terror of the farts combined. Binx is a stray we picked up outside the house. One night he just ran up to me and begged for food, then collapsed in hubby's arms after he'd eaten. He's rambuxious. He attacks the other cat's tails and is constantly trying to get Max to play with him. He also eats. A lot. And then he farts. A lot. They'd strip varnish off a footlocker. But when you get him to settle down and pet his chin he becomes a oozing purring kitty who clearly missed pettings all his short life and can't believe how lucky he is to get picked up by two really nice people. He has put on the pounds since we got him and now he's a good 15 pounds. A hefty cat, he'll ooze all over you when you pick him up and pet him. He's a lovable fellow.
Likes: Other cat's tails, Food, Being a kitten, Farting
Dislikes: Empty food bowls, Febreze

Gordon -
Full name: Sir Reginald Gordon Budanski
Gordon getting used to being inside
Nickname: Gordanski, Gary, George, Buddy
Title: The Reginald
Sex: Male
Age: 2
Type: Tomcat
Personality: He's a former stray we picked up after he came to our home. He's got a temper and fishy breath. He wants to go outside all the time, but he's indoors all the time because we're getting him used to being inside. Though he hates to admit it, we know he likes it inside where he gets food and pettings. He loves pettings. Gordon used to be hateful about getting them, but now he loves to settle in our laps and get a good snuggle, as long as none of the other cats can see him, that is. He's got to be a tough alley cat around them.
Likes: Cuddling, Gooshy food, Windows
Dislikes: Vacuums, The bed

Friday, September 2, 2011

100 words on revenge

This week's Friday Flash Fiction is to write a 100 word story about revenge. Terrible So here's my contribution. 

"Luke!  I am your father!"
"What?" I exclaimed.  I leveled the gun I’d snuck past security at him. "I’m not Luke!"
"You’re not? You look just like him."
"I don't look anything like that dweeb! Besides, Luke Ozzel knows who his dad is.  You killed his father, so he hired me to kill you.” I explained.
“Oh,” he paused, “Wrong Luke. Admiral Ozzel came out of lightspeed wrong. I had every right to crush him.”
"Luke had every right to hire me to kill you," I pointed out. "Goodbye Darth Vader."
I shot, but he crushed my throat first.  I died instead. So much for revenge.


Sunday, August 28, 2011

Clone Martin Luther King, Jr.'s Wikigalaxciapedia page (Flash Fiction)

Here's another entry into the Terrible Mind's Flash Fiction Challenge

Below is an excerpt from the Wikigalaxciapedia page on Martin Luther King, Jr. and Cloned Martin Luther King, Jr, as copied in 2545 by student Earalion Johnstiearmarithan for his third year college project on the historical clone.

Martin Luther King, Jr. Natural life (Earth standard): January 15, 1929 – April 4, 1968. Cloned (Mars standard): March 4, 2248 - February 34, 2391

Natural life:
Known as a civil rights activist, the natural life of MLKJ was spent using non-violent methods for the African American Civil Rights Movement. This movement was to give the African Americans the same rights as other Americans, see Earth history, section 5. Assassinated.

Cloned life:
After being cloned from DNA found in his museum pieces by Dr Frankfurt Mestopfiese in 2248, Martin Luther King, Jr. spent the first part of his 143 year life on Mars. There his civil rights background was integral to joining the two factions of Marsians, the Reds and the Greens, to coexist. While he was cloned from a scientist of the Greens he later joined the Reds in their pro-active farming techniques which, by the later part of the 2390’s, proved to be integral to continuing sustenance farming on Mars.

This second civil rights movement showed Mars that his his non-violent methods for contained and peaceful protests were more powerful than the previous riots by the Reds as they instilled the ability for the Green scientists and Red farmers to trust each other to make peace talks. Through his campaign on Mars he showed the farmers how to use facts and science to convince the Greens that farming with oxygen producing plants as found on Earth depleted the thin atmosphere of Mars, while the natural yellow nitrogen producing plants increased the height of the atmosphere so that the oxygenification machines originally used to create the breathable atmosphere on Mars could be used to create a layer of breathable air across the planet in a height tall enough for humans to live comfortably on Mars.

The protest planting of 2281 whereupon Red farmers refused to grow the Green’s super plants and replaced half their crops with Marsian yellow crops was organized by Martin Luther King, Jr. and was the only successful protest planting on Mars.

Using the success of the protest planting, Martin Luther King, Jr. continued to push for equality in the government and in the sciences. In 2325, after the annual dust storm, talks resumed between Reds and Greens and by the end of that year, Martin Luther King, Jr’s work with civil rights was completed with the signing and implementation of the Olympus Mons Treaty. Rights to vote for elections was given to the Reds and the right to inspect fields was given to the Greens. Though the Greens were convinced their Earth based plants would prove more sustainable than the Mars based plants, an agreement and a long term experiment was devised and executed. Only after his second death did the wisdom of Martin Luther King, Jr. be verified as, to this day, Marsian plants are the preferred crops.

On 2330, life was found on Jupiter by a sanctioned gas mine on the planet’s surface. As his diplomacy skills were no longer needed on Mars, Martin Luther King, Jr. agreed to learn the Jupiterian language to create a peace treaty between humans and Jupiterians as trace compounds in the Jupiterian atmosphere were proving invaluable to the creation of space light drives.

By December 210, 2331 (Jupiter time) Martin Luther King, Jr. learned the language of the Jupiterians and began peace talks. However, upon his first visit to the planet surface the Jupiterians tried to kill Martin Luther King, Jr. with a high voltage shock to his space suit. Only by luck did Martin Luther King, Jr. make it safely from the surface though it took another year for him to recuperate the use of his body as his mind had become trapped within an unresponsive body. By the time he had regained full use, the war between Jupiterians and humans was under full operation. By downloading the proceedings of the war into Martin Luther King, Jr.’s brain during his recovery period Martin Luther King, Jr. was able to determine that the Jupiterians had been plotting the destruction of the humans since the humans had landed on Mars and the Jupiterians had used their mental telepathy to create the animosity between the Reds and the Greens in hopes that the two factions would kill each other before the full scale farming of the yellow Marsian plans could be completed.

Also during his recovery period Martin Luther King, Jr. was able to discover the way the Jupiterians used their telepathy and that his previous learning of the Jupiterian language was worthless as the Jupiterians did not have their own written or spoken language due to their advanced telepathy.

Once he was recovered and able to speak to his fellow humans, Martin Luther King, Jr. taught the Earthian and Marsian forces how to use telepathy and used this against the Jupiterians.

From 2332 until his assassination in 2391, Martin Luther King, Jr. was on the forefront of the war, joining in the battle using his previous knowledge of non-violent diplomacy to create massive mental attacks against the Jupiterians, which proved the singular most effective tactic to destroy the minds of the Jupiterians who were not able to withstand the mental attacks of the entire military.

In 2391, following the victory of Io, the Jupiterians used a single thought attack on Martin Luther King, Jr. as a last stand to kill the prominent figure of the war, believing that without his influence the minds of the rest of humanity would not be able to defeat them. The Jupiterian’s mental attack destroyed Martin Luther King, Jr. but his legacy lived on as, by 2400, the Jupiterians were destroyed and full scale gas mining of Jupiter began and space light drives led humanity far into the galaxy.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Kindle is the DEVIL! ... or not.

Ok people.

I have a Kindle 3.  And I love it, I buy books on it all the time and I love to read from it.  Heck, I use it as my laptop because my real laptop died, so if I want to get on the internet quickly I use the Kindle.  I use my Kindle every day. 

So.  My beef?  Why people tell me that having a Kindle (or any e-reader) makes me a bad person. 

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Mighty Morphin' Unicorn Rangers!

Another post for about unicorns this week.  I tossed the topic to my husband, who immediately said I needed to write a story about unicorn glue... and upon further discussion we came up with an awesome idea which became the below story.  Based heavily on a childhood TV show, of course!

“Ahhh!  After 161 years I’m FREE!” shouted the most disgusting woman in existence.  She had sprung out of a sewer drain built in the 1850’s into the center of New York City’s central park and onto the surprised Buster’s Tree Removal Service workers who had been pulling up a very old, but very dead tree, which happened to have grown around the last of the original sewage system.

“It’s time to disgust… EARTH!”  Screamed the old hag.  That’s what she looked like, an old hag from the movies, complete with rotting dress and an entirely over-ripe pimple complete with ingrown hairs on the tip of her very pointed nose.


 “Alfalfa! Rudita’s escaped!” blared a muffled voice from a head suck in a pickle jar filled with 161 year old formaldehyde.  “Assemble a team of above average looking teenagers with attitude!”  The head was bald and nearly rotted away, but it didn’t seem to mind not having body anymore.

“Oh no!” cried the pickle jar’s companion, a strange looking robot creation of metal and steaming gears that whistled crazily as it waddled around on hydraulic steam legs.  “what shall we do Zolar!  We don’t have any of the Unicorn Glue to create the rangers!  What will we do!  Oh this is a disaster!” Alfalfa hissed steam out of the small whistle next to his rather bizarre looking head, which was really just a can with holes poked where the eyes and nose might be and a small magical speaker where the mouth was.

“We will have to create some, Revolta cannot be allowed to spread her filth!  Hurry Alfalfa!” cried the head, bubbles flowing up through the formaldehyde to make slow blorping noise at the top.  It made it hard to hear Zolar.

“Oh dear!  I think we still have a unicorn left, don’t we Zolar?” asked the hysterical steam robot monstrosity.  They were located in a freak show type museum where forgotten and dusty novelties of past circus’ were kept.  The “Real Talking Head In A Jar!” and “Automated Robot From The Ages!!!” had long ago stopped being big attractions now in 2011, but the owner of the novelty store hadn’t the heart to throw them out... or pay the rent. 

Just outside the mildewing windows a pile of stinky, steaming poo hit the dirty pane of glass with a loud “SPLORT!” followed by an evil cackle.

“DIE IN POOP!” snarled the disgusting hag, who was flinging sewer remains around by use of a small bucket shaped like a castle from the nearby playground and a really cute matching pink plastic shovel.

“We haven’t much time Alfalfa!  Create the glue necessary to give them the power to destroy Revolta!” said the head in a jar.  He had to repeat his instructions twice before the robot could understand him, so loud was his agitated bubbling.

Alfalfa nodded and with much stopping, starting, and misfiring of his old gears, the robot worked his way to the back of the novelty store where a sign advertised for the “First and Only Unicorn!!!!”

The unicorn wasn’t alive, of course.  It was stuffed like all the other fake fabled creatures that lined the sides of the freak museum.  Things like the three headed duck, where one head was the front half of a fish.  Or the dragon, which was really just a lizard that had fake wings taped to it.

Only thing different about the unicorn is that it once had been real and lived in Ireland in amongst the little people.  Normally given to teasing the humans that lived around it, the unicorn had gotten careless in his old age and gotten too close to a disbelieving hunter who had killed the beast and stuffed him to prove to his friends he’d seen a real live unicorn. The stuffed beast was not in the best shape, the fur was full of holes and half the fur was gone across the top of the creature.  Some child years ago had stuck a hand full of sticky candy on it’s belly and it’d never been cleaned so the red candy stuck out on the white skin like it was bleeding.  But the horn and hooves were still perfect, they were magic after all.  The horn and hooves shone like the inside of a seashell in the dim light of the abandoned museum.

Alfalfa found a handy giant pot in one of the dioramas of peasant life and started a fire in the middle of the entryway.  Stripping the hooves and horn off the unicorn were easy enough.  The fur was so worn that the horn came right off and Alfalfa leaned his considerable metal weight against the unicorn’s side until it fell over, the hooves came off with a hefty yank. In the back pantry with cleaning supplies, the steam robot found everything else he needed.

It took a few hours in which the dirty hag had run a-muck, flinging poo around central park then clambering up trees to evade the park police, then coming down again only to find more sewage to toss around.  Even more zits and moles grew on the hag’s face as she wrecked Central Park, each more disgusting than the last.

Once Revolta found manhole covers she branched out, finding ways to back up the sewer system unchecked, filling up nearby building’s basements with raw waste across 5th avenue until even the most swanky of businesses had to shut down due to the foul odor of rotting poop.

Evening fell before the robot and the talking head finished their creations.  Out of the unicorn’s body five vials of glue had been made.  Not just any glue, though.  A little known fact about unicorns is their hooves make rainbow glue, which can be separated into different colors to create the most powerful and magical glue the world over.  Each color got it’s own matching bottle, painstakingly painted while the glue had been boiling.  Pink, yellow, blue, black and red.

Quickly, Alfalfa summoned the powers of the MIGHTY MORPHIN' UNICORN GLUE RANGERS! and five above average looking teenagers got a very strong compulsion to find their ways through New York’s now stinky roads to a run down looking freak show museum where, unbelievably, a talking head in a pickle jar and a mechanical steam robot convinced them to stick a tiny bit of glue on their fingers. 

The glue stuck their fingers together and created a set of magical coins that would summon their unicorn powers which would give them heightened fighting abilities and the means to create weapons of mass poo-clean up, including super sized air freshener cans which they sprayed around with exaggerated movements and lots of whooshing noises.

And thus began the war between the nasty hag Revolta and the above average looking Mighty Unicorn Glue Rangers… until the Glue Rangers became addicted to the glue aroma and Revolta was imprisoned, forced to bathe, and got a court ordered facial by the New York’s finest sanitation department.  They had incurred enormous fines and legal fees on her for all her vandalism. 

Years later Revolta made a reality show in court ordered rehab to recover from her obsessive compulsive fecal matter flinging and on the reality show she apologized to each Unicorn Glue Ranger. She later paid for them to be taken to rehab for glue addiction using the money she‘d gotten from the generous reality show deal. 

Once it came out about Alfalfa and the talking head Zolar they were taken to court for subjecting young teenagers to drugs and sentenced to intense community service.  Zolar had to make anti-drug commercials and poor Alfalfa was sentenced to fixing New York’s continuing sewer issues, seeing as he couldn’t smell.

Of the last remaining glue from each of the Mighty Morphin' Unicorn Glue Ranger’s bottles?  No one ever knew what happened to them, not even the former glue rangers… legend has it that someone combined all the glues together and created the most powerful glue on Earth…