Sunday, March 17, 2013

Old School Wrestling: Survivor Series 1989

Survivor Series 1989!

This took place during Thanksgiving in Chicago, IL. It starts out with Jessie Ventura in the most amazing turkey pilgrim outfit, he always wears the craziest things. I like events in Chicago, it’s a good place for wrestling, so I know the crowd reaction will be good.

Most of the matches are good, but they’re not excellent. The camera work, though, is spot on. They’re really working with the commentary. There’s a lot of moments where Jessie Ventura or Gorilla Monsoon will say something about one of the wrestlers not in the ring, and the cameras will quickly switch to them. It’s very well done.

In case you don’t know, Survivor Series’ are where it’s 4 on 4 tag team matches where each team tries to eliminate the other side until no one is left. The team left with anyone standing is the winner.

The event starts out quickly.

The Dream Team (Dusty Rhodes, Brutus Beefcake, The Red Rooster and Tito Santana) vs. The Enforcers (The Big Boss Man, Bad News Brown, Rick Martel and The Honky Tonk Man) (with Jimmy Hart and Slick as managers)

I am eternally surprised people actually like Beefcake. I am even more surprised people let him bring those damned sheers into the ring. He is seriously wearing a leopard print thong under his tights. Still, Rick Martel finally shows up as the Model and he looks really ripped, so at least we have the Model in the match, which makes up for Beefcake’s ridiculousness and his god awful tights. I feel really bad for the Red Rooster throughout the entire match. The crowd hates him even though he’s supposed to be a face, and he has a decent wrestling style. If he was given half a chance, I could see him doing a lot better. He only works well with a really good heel.

The best part of this match is Bad News Brown. Finally we get a heel that acts like a crybaby and leaves the match. A true heel! It is really a pleasure for me to see a heel acting like a whiny brat instead of the good guys being the brats and somehow getting cheered for it. Very refreshing.

I did really enjoy seeing Dusty Rhodes. I hadn’t seen him do much yet. He’s really good! He has a lot of charisma in the ring. I am looking forward to seeing a lot more from Rhodes. Rhodes and Beefcake end up winning the match by beating the Boss Man, who is another wrestler I like seeing in the ring.

The King's Court (Randy Savage, Canadian Earthquake, Dino Bravo and Greg Valentine) (with Jimmy Hart and Sensational Queen Sherri) vs. The 4x4's: (Jim Duggan, Bret Hart, Ronnie Garvin and Hercules).

The 4x4 team all come in carrying 2x4’s a la Jim Duggan and it’s a really cute touch. I’m really surprised they broke up the Hart foundantion, but it is fun to see Bret Hart wrestling without Jim around. I do notice that powder blue tights are in fashion during this pay per view.

Anyway. I didn’t think I would enjoy Garvin at all, but over the past few shows, I’ve really started to like him. He’s one of those tough guys that knows how to sell his moves really well and has a good move set and he seems like a solid guy.

Bret is really picking up steam during this match, the crowd is really getting into his character. He gets a lot of pop and cheers. He has more hearts on his tights, too! He is methodical during this match. In the later part of this match, his execution shines through. Even when he’s losing, he’s still very precise. There are still a few minor goofs but the match is methodical when he’s in the ring. You can tell that Savage and Bret probably both did a lot of planning, I know Savage is a big match planner, so it wouldn’t surprise me if they worked hard on it.

Hacksaw loses the match, in the end, by being counted out. He then rushes back into the ring with his 2x4 and starts hitting the bad guys and acting like a heel. The crowd loves it, of course. Even I like it because it’s Duggan, but it is funny how often the faces act like heels in this era, yet sometimes people say the later generation was so revolutionary because the faces acted like heels and that had never been done before. Well, it had been done before. A lot.

Next up, and it’s a surprising match because Hogan isn’t main eventing:

The Hulkamaniacs (Hulk Hogan, Demolition (Ax and Smash) and Jake Roberts) vs. The Million $ Team (Ted DiBiase, Powers of Pain(The Warlord and The Barbarian) and Zeus) (with Virgil and Mr. Fuji).

Hogan does get a pop, but it’s not quite the pop that he usually gets. I think Chicago is as tired of him as I am. Jake Roberts brings out Damien, the snake, right away and begins threatening the other team with him. I think this is so funny because instead of gently petting Damien, Roberts pets Damien by bapping him on the head. I know Jake Roberts wasn’t the biggest fan of Damien, and I’ve always wondered what happened to the snake in the end. I happen to like snakes.

So this was a match where Zeus got to act like a true heel and got disqualified. Another match where the heel acted like a true heel! He choked out Hogan, then hit the referee, which wasn’t allowed, and got kicked out of the match. It was a big deal back then to hit a referee. I wish they brought this back. These days you can slap a referee around, but back then, referee’s were respected. I like that.

Jessie Ventura is a riot throughout this match. Everyone that fights Hogan gets disqualified for some reason or another. Zeus I understood, but the Powers of Pain get disqualified for double teaming Hogan, which was stupid. Jessie keeps pointing out how Hogan is basically cheating by having the referee just disqualify everyone who fights him, and it’s pretty much true, but since Hogan is such a strong face, Gorilla Monsoon keeps pointing out that it’s not true and Hogan is fighting fairly and so on and so forth. It’s so funny to me. Once again Jessie just lays into Hogan and it would come off as Jessie being so bitter and angry as a heel commentator, but so many years in the future, one has to wonder if Jessie is saying the truth behind Hogan’s backstage politics, brother.

Anyway, the match comes down to DiBiase vs. Jake Roberts and Hogan. Jake gets beaten by DiBiase cheating and using the ropes as leverage for a pin and it’s down to Hogan and DiBiase. Hogan does a terrible job being hurt and injured when DiBiase beats him up. Hogan flops around on the mat like a fish and then all of a sudden (!) he’s better! Then he hits his three moves of doom and wins “against all odds and injuries!” Bah. Saw that coming. It was predictable.

The Rude Brood (Rick Rude, Mr. Perfect, The Fabulous Rougeaus (Jacques and Raymond)) (with The Genius and Jimmy Hart) vs. Roddy's Rowdies (Roddy Piper, Jimmy Snuka and The Bushwhackers (Butch and Luke)).

This is a good match between the brawler types and the wrestling/technical showmanship types. It’s funny because Roddy Piper gets way more of a pop than Hogan did. Also, Rick Rude’s tights are awesome, as always. There is a lot more back and forth between the two teams in this match, so it’s a lot more exciting than the last match. The last match felt artificial, and this one feels more authentic, less sterile.

Rude and Piper were both counted out, which surprised me. It’s a good mix-up, having the two leaders be out of the match so the match is left to Perfect and Snuka. It was a good push for Perfect, he really is showing he’s got the chops to make it big because his match quality is so good. However, the referee had poor positioning through the last part of this match and nearly keeps getting hit. In the end, Snuka’s high flying moves aren’t enough to take down Perfect, but Perfect hits a Perfectplex and pins Snuka to win the match. That Perfectplex is, well, perfect!

The Ultimate Warriors (The Ultimate Warrior, The Rockers (Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty) and Jim Neidhart) vs. The Heenan Family (Bobby Heenan, André the Giant, Haku and Arn Anderson).

Now, I know from my husband that Bobby Heenan wasn’t supposed to be wrestling. Tully Blanchard was supposed to be in his place, but Tully was so drugged out he was canned before the match and Bobby the Brain replaced him. Just goes to show what a great manager Bobby the Brain is that he can just switch gears to wrestle during a main event pay per view.

So Andre gets tagged out very quickly in the match. I can tell he’s not feeling good, his color is really bad. He’s getting close to the end of his run. I kind of feel bad for him.

The Rockers work great as the main event tag team, they are really popular, and they are an excellent tag team. They are probably the best tag team I’ve seen so far next to the Hart Foundation, so I’m not surprised they’re main eventing a Survivor Series. They work really well with the Warrior. He does a lot of moves where he pushes them off the ropes, like a rocket, into their opponents. It’s really awesome! I want to see him in a few more tag matches where he gets to throw his tag partners around. When he gets a chance to get into the ring he explodes out there like a caged animal and really gets the crowd into the match. It’s really exciting.

(This kind of match is perfect for Warrior, who can do short matches perfectly. Tag matches are like a bunch of tiny short matches strung together, and I could see Warrior being really good with a partner like Shawn Michaels, who could sell like crazy in the ring for a while, get beat up really bad, then slap Warrior in, who could explode with revenge against his injured partner. Man, that’d be an awesome tag team. I doubt it ever happens, but the fan in me wishes it happen(ed.))

Anyway. The ending of the match is perfect. Warrior beats up Heenan in the quintessential ‘beating up your evil boss’ ending. Warrior pounds on Heenan, who had acted like a weasel for the whole match and refused to get beat up at all, and pins him, Warrior poses for a minute or two tops with his Intercontinental Championship belt, then runs backstage. For once there’s not an hour of posing!

Final thoughts - 
It was a great ending to the pay per view. I’m going to be honest here, I’m becoming a fan of the Warrior. I know, I know, so many people say he couldn’t wrestle. But... compared to the other main attraction, Hogan, he is so much more fun to watch! He’s not perfect, but he’s so much better than Hogan is.

The 1980’s ended with this pay per view and I can say I’ve learned a lot so far. We have the 90’s to start watching with the Royal Rumble 1990 next. I’m looking forward to it. There’s a lot the current fans could learn by watching these old shows as I am, there’s so much I’m picking up on now that I didn’t see when we first started watching, ring psychology and techniques I didn’t know that I know now. You really do start to appreciate the entertainment aspect of it and the time and effort put into the shows as you watch them one by one. Each wrestler changes a little bit, in each one the production quality increases. The company learns and progresses. I can’t wait to see what’s next in the 90’s. Even if it is more Hogan. Brother!

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Old School Wrestling: SummerSlam 1989

SummerSlam 1989!

We watched the original taping of this pay per view, so it started out with a lot of the promo work they did. The main event, between Hulk Hogan and Brutus the Barber Beefcake vs. Randy Savage and Zeus, started based on a movie that Zeus and Hogan stared in. The feud in the movie extended into the wrestling ring. This is really the start to the WWF movie studios, I think.

Now days it's common for wrestlers to be movie stars, but I can imagine it was a really big deal for Hogan to star in a movie, and then for the bad guy of a movie to continue to movie feud in the ring.

I do wonder, though, if they had chosen a better actor to play in their first big wrestling movie, how much better wrestlers-turned-actors would have turned out years from then. I’m not going to lie, I am not a Hogan fan. I think out of all the in-ring talent, he’s about the worst of them when it comes to acting. Now, I can hear some of you saying “but wrestlers aren’t actors!” But they are! They are some of the best improv actors of all time. They get one take to do their entire matches live in front of millions of people on TV weekly, whether it’s ‘faking’ injuries, or not showing injuries that happen, or just cutting a kick ass promo. They are actors.

Out of all of them of the 80’s and 90’s, Hogan was one of the worst. How many matches have I seen up to this point where he gets an ‘injury’ then five seconds later is no-selling it like it never happened? It’s terrible! Looking back, would Hollywood have a much better view of wrestlers if their first real introduction to a main star wrestling actor have been someone who can act? Someone like Dibiase, Rick Rude, or Mr. Perfect?

But I digress. To SummerSlam!

The first match was the Brain Busters (Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard) (with Bobby Heenan) vs. the Hart Foundation (Bret Hart and Jim Neidhart). The camera work is much better than at the Trump Plaza. Frankly, the Trump Plaza at WreslteMania was pretty terrible in comparison. This is a terrific match, the second pay-per-view in a row with a great opening match. The bad guys are truly bad, even Bobby Heenan gets a chant going against him as the Weasel. He’s one of the few managers to get his own chants and it goes to show what a great influence he is as a heel.

Next up is the first appearance of Dusty Rhodes vs. the Honky Tonk Man (with Jimmy Hart). This is a theatrical match. The wrestlers really show how they are entertainers here. The theatrics between Dusty and Honky really get the crowd into the match at the beginning before they actually get to the business of wrestling, so when they get to the actual wrestling moves, the crowd is still reacting strongly. The ending when Jimmy Hart hits Honky out with his guitar by accident is perfect because the crowd goes wild. The match is a great example of using entertainment to draw the audience in.

Mr. Perfect vs. The Red Rooster. Oh boy. Ooof. This poor match. Now, the Red Rooster was supposed to be Mr. Perfect but he showed up late to the meeting with Vince McMahon, so the next guy in line got the gimmick, which happened to be Mr. Perfect. So Red Rooster got stuck with the Rooster gimmick and I feel so bad for him. He’s a decent enough wrestler, but there’s no way to redeem a rooster gimmick. The crowd even half cheers the heel, Mr. Perfect. Ugh.

Next Rick Martel and The Fabulous Rougeaus (Jacques and Raymond) (with Jimmy Hart) vs. Tito Santana and The Rockers (Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty). This is a hectic match, but the Tito vs. Martel portion of the match was well done. They drew out a lot of tension between the two of them. The Rougeau brothers finally look better than at Wrestlemania. Martel was spot on. The Rockers gathered a lot of energy whenever the match started to drag on. If if was any other tag team match it might have dragged on with all the rest holds, but the Rockers came out to throw a few punches on the other team, making the match a lot more exciting.

The Intercontinental Championship with Rick Rude vs. The Ultimate Warrior is up next and my god, Rick Rude’s tights. Rude’s really put on some muscle for this match. The last PPV, it felt like Rude was a cruiser-weight and Warrior was a heavy-weight, but this match feels more like they’re both heavy-weights. That’s how much Rude worked out, and it doesn’t look like steroid weight, either. Anyway, it’s a good match with a good story being told. It really sucks for Rude, though, because he should have held the title longer. I know they’re building for Warrior vs. Hogan and WrestleMania, so Warrior had to get the title, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.

As far as current talent is concerned, the big guys of this generation, the Rybacks and the like, could watch these Warrior matches and learn something. Warrior does a great job being a really powerful character yet still keeps the match interesting. He can get beat up, and beat up well, but he still gets to use his power moves like a beast. For as much as people like to hate on the Warrior now days for being a crap wrestler, I think he’s pretty good. Better than Hogan was by a thousand percent. At least Warrior can sell his moves.

Only a few more matches to go! Jim Duggan and Demolition (Smash and Ax) vs. AndrĂ© the Giant and The Twin Towers (The Big Boss Man and Akeem) (with Bobby Heenan and Slick) was next. I love King Duggan, but I think this is the only time I see him. Even his 2x4 has a little crown! It’s so adorable! Like most Duggan matches this is a brawler match. I really like Duggan matches, though. They can be incredibly silly, but you can tell how much Duggan loves being a goof and getting the crowd going with his “hooooooo” chants. At the end I’m so surprised the ring didn’t collapse.

Hercules vs. Greg Valentine (with Jimmy Hart) is the next match, which was a typical match, but they used Rugged Ronnie Garven as the ring announcer to build up the heel-ness of Valentine. That was funny to listen to, even if the match itself was short. It was one of Hercules’ better PPV matches.

The second to last match is Ted DiBiase (with Virgil) vs. Jimmy Snuka. This is another straightforward match. Snucka and DiBiase meld well together in the ring. DiBiase gains so much heat just by being him. It’s such a great gimmick and DiBiase is so great at acting it. You just believe his character. Snuka lands a perfect Super Fly at the end, though the match ends on a count out.

Before the last match is the first appearance of the Genius and his poem is really awesome.

And now for the Main Event!

Hulk Hogan and Brutus Beefcake (with Miss Elizabeth) vs. Randy Savage and Zeus (with Sensational Sherri)

Ok, this is a pretty long match, just topping fifteen minutes. Most of the work for the match was done by Savage. Hogan did a lot of no-selling with Zeus, which makes sense because they’re both supposed to be powerful guys and all, but after the fourth or fifth time I got really bored with it. I also got really annoyed with Beefcake even sniffing the main event at a PPV, much less being in it. I don’t like Beefcake in the slightest and he did so little work during the match that looked good. He does a whole lot of flopping around with his moves.

Zeus gets a little bit of a pass because he’s not a professional wrestler, so it’s expected that he doesn’t know how to do a lot of the moves, but he does a better job with them than Hogan does. He sells better and he actually manages to stick his moves better than I expected. I’ve seen a lot of matches where the actors come in and do a god awful job as wrestlers, but Zeus manages to do a decent job.

I knew the match was over, though, the moment Hogan no-sold Savage’s Elbow Drop off the top rope. What a way to no-sell another wrestler’s finishing move, brother. I’ve seen enough Hogan matches to know the moment Hogan pops up with those big eyes of his and acts like the Savage Elbow Drop did nothing to his steroid filled, leathery tanned chest the match was going in Hogan’s favor. At least Hogan didn’t win by doing his three moves of doom and actually had to use Sheri’s purse to defeat Zeus. Hogan came off looking like the bad guy, though. I think it’s pretty funny how often I see him as the bad guy, but I might be really, really biased.

Anyway. It was a pretty good PPV. I’m starting to like Warrior, and I still love the Hart Foundation. Rick Rude’s tights are awesome, but Beefcake’s tights are awful. I’m very excited to see the next few shows because I’ve heard a lot about Dusty Rhodes and never seen him, and I want to see more of the Rockers.

(Hope you liked my review! As always, I’d like to point out here at the end that I watch these without my husband spoiling the ending of the PPV’s and I didn’t watch them when they came out because I was a pretty sheltered kid. So these are a new wrestling fan’s perspective on the old school wrestling shows.)

Monday, March 4, 2013

Old School Wrestling: WrestleMania V

WrestleMania 5!

This took place in 1989. It was one of the better WrestleMania's we've seen. It took place at the Trump Plaza and it was a huge arena, very dark, and so some of the camera work was a little harder to see. I wish they had brightened up outside the arena a little bit. It wasn't as dark as WrestleMania 1, thank goodness.

So it started out with Hercules vs. King Haku. I was really surprised with this match. It was a fantastic match for an opening match. I've seen some doozies to start out pay per view's so far. It wasn't main event quality or anything, but it was really fun. I wasn't expecting anything from Hercules or Haku, however they got the crowd into their feud from the start, and kept the momentum going till the end. It was a welcome surprise.

The next match was The Twin Towers (Akeem and the Big Boss Man) vs. The Rockers (Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty). The Rockers are at a seeming disadvantage from the start of this match, the Twin Towers are big guys and the Rockers are small, but the Rockers were very over with the crowd. It's a great second match because it keeps the momentum going from the first match. I can tell the style of tag team matches is starting to change with the introduction of the Rockers. They are bringing in an active tag team style, where instead of one vs. one, it's turning into using both parters at the same time more often. Jessie Ventura comments on this constantly and keeps trying to make the Rockers seem like they're doing a bad thing, but since he's a heel commentator, it only makes the Rockers get over better. It makes for a very exciting match. These days seeing a tag team match where both parts of a team don't do a combined move at some point is strange, but back then, the teams didn't do tandem moves as often. As I watch the next two pay per view's, I've started to take note of the number of tandem moves, they are more frequent and the crowd really pops for them.

The next is Brutus the Barber Beefcake vs. Million Dollar Champion Ted DiBiase. I'm sorry, but I have no clue why The Barber is so over. I think he's incredibly silly. He's not a bad wrestler or anything, but I think his gimmick is just impossible to get behind, especially as a good guy. I suppose it really helps that he keeps going against such good villains. I mean, he's feuding with one of the best villains of this time period, the Million Dollar Man. I've come to the personal conclusion that the reason people like Brutus the Barbar is because he keeps being put against the best villains and his promos are so weird. The match was decent. Barber showed a little Hogan tendencies to act a little too tough, so it was hard to get into his match. It just felt silly how he would no-show some of the bumps. I'm glad DiBiase gets to drop Brutus after this. Also, I wish someone told Brutus to stop cutting holes and putting mesh in his tights. Those stupid tights just drive me crazy, and not in a good way.

Ok, onto the next match. The Bushwhackers (Luke Williams and Butch Miller) vs. The Fabulous Rougeaus (Jacques and Raymond). The Rougeau Brothers looked like they hadn't been working out or something, so the match was dull. For the first five minuts the Rougeaus were stumbling around like they had no idea what was going on and the Bushwhackers were doing their best to be silly to make up for it. I'm very glad the Bushwhackers won.

There was some good cartoon moments with Slick at the beginning of the match, though. It makes me miss good managers that add a lot of humor. The point of a manager isn't always to be serious business  sometimes it is to add humor to a match and break tension. I mean, Vickie Guerro is funny sometimes, but she's not nearly as funny as Slick. (Slick ended up in the middle of a Rougeau Brother sandwich, and he acted completely crazy. It was comedy gold.)

Next up is The Blue Blazer vs. Mr. Perfect. Here my husband pointed out the Blue Blazer is Owen Hart. The match was exciting and fun, lots of flipping moves. It was a very good match after the last match. Worth a watch if you can find it. I can see how the more energetic match style is becoming more common as the Wrestlemanias progress. There was a good mix of technical moves and acrobatics in this singles match. It's a shame Owen isn't seen for quite a few pay per view's after this.

The next few matches were quick. Demolition vs. Powers of Pain (The Warlord and The Barbarian) and Mr. Fuji. It was fun to see Mr. Fuji wrestle, but the match was simple and to the point. A good mid-pay per view match. Dino Bravo and Ron Garvin were up next, and it was another quick match.

There was another tag match, Brain Busters (Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard) vs. Strike Force (Tito Santana and Rick Martel). In this match, the big ending was Tito accidentally hits Rick Martel, and Martel turns on his partner and leaves the ring, thus ushering in a heel turn for Martel. This is pretty interesting for me because there's been quite a few times in these shows that the faces have acted like heels.

Jake the Snake and Andre the Giant fought next. Andre looked like he'd lost some weight and was moving better than he had at the last pay per view. It was nice to see. I always have sympathy for him, I just feel like he looks like he's huffing and puffing so bad because he's so out of shape. It was a relief to see Andre actually be able to get through a match without being totally gassed. I like Big Show because he's a huge guy and he's really athletic and I know he is, so I don't have to feel quite so bad for him. Anyway, the match was good, but not revolutionary. I've been following current day Jake the Snake as he's been getting his life clean from drugs, so seeing his older matches has been a treat.

The tenth match, yes, there are a ton of matches, was Hart Foundation vs. Honky Tonk and Greg the Hammer Valentine. I have really enjoyed watching Bret Hart and Jim Neidhart a lot. They work so well together. Bret is good at doing the technical side and Jim is so crazy and a powerhouse. When Neidhart laughs his crazy laugh I just giggle and can't help but get excited.

This was another match where I noticed the attitude era would have fit right in. The Hart Foundation used the megaphone from the Mouth of the South (Jimmy Hart) to knock out the Honky Tonk man. Normally such antics would be a heel move. Using foreign objects to knock out your opponent while the referee's back is turned is considered a bad thing to do, but since Jimmy Hart is considered a heel manager, and the Honky Tonk Man is such a bad guy, it ended up being a good thing.

It's funny to me now to listen to people say that in the attitude era it was so revolutionary for the good guys to do things that only bad guys did because in these pay per views, the good guys constantly threw temper tantrums and constantly used objects during their matches and regularly would attack the heels after the matches if the heels won. See every Hulk Hogan match he ever lost.

Next up, Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude. Basic match. Ryback needs to learn a few things from the Ultimate Warrior. He can be a powerful guy who no-sells so many moves, yet still have a decent match. I can see why people really liked Warrior, but I still like Rick Rude. I tend to like the heels more, which is kind of funny. I think it's because it feels a little like the faces get shoved down your throat around this time period. Rick Rude is just so obnoxious I have to like him. Oh, and Rude has some of the most awesome tights. Whoever makes Rude's tights is an airbrushing god.

Next match. Hacksaw Jim Duggan vs Bad News Brown. My one and only note on this match is this is an extreme match before extreme matches existed. Seriously, it was pretty brutal for the time. Chair shots and 2x4's were used. It was a short match, but it was nice to see something a little more raw for it's time.

Last match and the main event!

Macho Man vs. Hulk Hogan

So this is supposed to be super explosive. They've had so many promos for this match it's crazy. I have high hopes, but I know... I just know. It's Hulky. He's going to screw Macho Man. I haven't been told anything going into the match per my husband's instructions. So here's what I got out of the match.

So yeah. Hulk Hogan gets beaten up for 15 minutes, gets totally destroyed and any other decent wrestler would have sold the hell out of what Macho Man did to him, but the Hulkster can't sell worth crap and can't let any of his precious ego get in the way. So instead of doing his so called best friend a solid and pretending to be hurt for a little while, Hulk stands up after the 15 minutes of awesome beat down by Macho Man and acts like it was all nothing and beats Macho Man in, like, three moves. It was terrible. Lame ass win for Hulk Hogan. Totally expected.

The best part of the match is listening to Jessie Ventura. Jessie spouts off his mouth through the whole match about how terrible Hulk is, how Hulk is stealing Elizabeth from Macho Man, and how he's the worst friend ever to the Macho Man. Everyone at the time before the internet probably thinks Jessie's just being a typical heel commentator  but knowing what I know now about the Hulkster, Jessie's probably just saying a bunch of the truth, which makes it even more hilarious to listen to. It's awesome.

So that's WrestleMania V.