Old School Wrestling: WrestleMania V

WrestleMania 5!

This took place in 1989. It was one of the better WrestleMania's we've seen. It took place at the Trump Plaza and it was a huge arena, very dark, and so some of the camera work was a little harder to see. I wish they had brightened up outside the arena a little bit. It wasn't as dark as WrestleMania 1, thank goodness.

So it started out with Hercules vs. King Haku. I was really surprised with this match. It was a fantastic match for an opening match. I've seen some doozies to start out pay per view's so far. It wasn't main event quality or anything, but it was really fun. I wasn't expecting anything from Hercules or Haku, however they got the crowd into their feud from the start, and kept the momentum going till the end. It was a welcome surprise.

The next match was The Twin Towers (Akeem and the Big Boss Man) vs. The Rockers (Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty). The Rockers are at a seeming disadvantage from the start of this match, the Twin Towers are big guys and the Rockers are small, but the Rockers were very over with the crowd. It's a great second match because it keeps the momentum going from the first match. I can tell the style of tag team matches is starting to change with the introduction of the Rockers. They are bringing in an active tag team style, where instead of one vs. one, it's turning into using both parters at the same time more often. Jessie Ventura comments on this constantly and keeps trying to make the Rockers seem like they're doing a bad thing, but since he's a heel commentator, it only makes the Rockers get over better. It makes for a very exciting match. These days seeing a tag team match where both parts of a team don't do a combined move at some point is strange, but back then, the teams didn't do tandem moves as often. As I watch the next two pay per view's, I've started to take note of the number of tandem moves, they are more frequent and the crowd really pops for them.

The next is Brutus the Barber Beefcake vs. Million Dollar Champion Ted DiBiase. I'm sorry, but I have no clue why The Barber is so over. I think he's incredibly silly. He's not a bad wrestler or anything, but I think his gimmick is just impossible to get behind, especially as a good guy. I suppose it really helps that he keeps going against such good villains. I mean, he's feuding with one of the best villains of this time period, the Million Dollar Man. I've come to the personal conclusion that the reason people like Brutus the Barbar is because he keeps being put against the best villains and his promos are so weird. The match was decent. Barber showed a little Hogan tendencies to act a little too tough, so it was hard to get into his match. It just felt silly how he would no-show some of the bumps. I'm glad DiBiase gets to drop Brutus after this. Also, I wish someone told Brutus to stop cutting holes and putting mesh in his tights. Those stupid tights just drive me crazy, and not in a good way.

Ok, onto the next match. The Bushwhackers (Luke Williams and Butch Miller) vs. The Fabulous Rougeaus (Jacques and Raymond). The Rougeau Brothers looked like they hadn't been working out or something, so the match was dull. For the first five minuts the Rougeaus were stumbling around like they had no idea what was going on and the Bushwhackers were doing their best to be silly to make up for it. I'm very glad the Bushwhackers won.

There was some good cartoon moments with Slick at the beginning of the match, though. It makes me miss good managers that add a lot of humor. The point of a manager isn't always to be serious business  sometimes it is to add humor to a match and break tension. I mean, Vickie Guerro is funny sometimes, but she's not nearly as funny as Slick. (Slick ended up in the middle of a Rougeau Brother sandwich, and he acted completely crazy. It was comedy gold.)

Next up is The Blue Blazer vs. Mr. Perfect. Here my husband pointed out the Blue Blazer is Owen Hart. The match was exciting and fun, lots of flipping moves. It was a very good match after the last match. Worth a watch if you can find it. I can see how the more energetic match style is becoming more common as the Wrestlemanias progress. There was a good mix of technical moves and acrobatics in this singles match. It's a shame Owen isn't seen for quite a few pay per view's after this.

The next few matches were quick. Demolition vs. Powers of Pain (The Warlord and The Barbarian) and Mr. Fuji. It was fun to see Mr. Fuji wrestle, but the match was simple and to the point. A good mid-pay per view match. Dino Bravo and Ron Garvin were up next, and it was another quick match.

There was another tag match, Brain Busters (Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard) vs. Strike Force (Tito Santana and Rick Martel). In this match, the big ending was Tito accidentally hits Rick Martel, and Martel turns on his partner and leaves the ring, thus ushering in a heel turn for Martel. This is pretty interesting for me because there's been quite a few times in these shows that the faces have acted like heels.

Jake the Snake and Andre the Giant fought next. Andre looked like he'd lost some weight and was moving better than he had at the last pay per view. It was nice to see. I always have sympathy for him, I just feel like he looks like he's huffing and puffing so bad because he's so out of shape. It was a relief to see Andre actually be able to get through a match without being totally gassed. I like Big Show because he's a huge guy and he's really athletic and I know he is, so I don't have to feel quite so bad for him. Anyway, the match was good, but not revolutionary. I've been following current day Jake the Snake as he's been getting his life clean from drugs, so seeing his older matches has been a treat.

The tenth match, yes, there are a ton of matches, was Hart Foundation vs. Honky Tonk and Greg the Hammer Valentine. I have really enjoyed watching Bret Hart and Jim Neidhart a lot. They work so well together. Bret is good at doing the technical side and Jim is so crazy and a powerhouse. When Neidhart laughs his crazy laugh I just giggle and can't help but get excited.

This was another match where I noticed the attitude era would have fit right in. The Hart Foundation used the megaphone from the Mouth of the South (Jimmy Hart) to knock out the Honky Tonk man. Normally such antics would be a heel move. Using foreign objects to knock out your opponent while the referee's back is turned is considered a bad thing to do, but since Jimmy Hart is considered a heel manager, and the Honky Tonk Man is such a bad guy, it ended up being a good thing.

It's funny to me now to listen to people say that in the attitude era it was so revolutionary for the good guys to do things that only bad guys did because in these pay per views, the good guys constantly threw temper tantrums and constantly used objects during their matches and regularly would attack the heels after the matches if the heels won. See every Hulk Hogan match he ever lost.

Next up, Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude. Basic match. Ryback needs to learn a few things from the Ultimate Warrior. He can be a powerful guy who no-sells so many moves, yet still have a decent match. I can see why people really liked Warrior, but I still like Rick Rude. I tend to like the heels more, which is kind of funny. I think it's because it feels a little like the faces get shoved down your throat around this time period. Rick Rude is just so obnoxious I have to like him. Oh, and Rude has some of the most awesome tights. Whoever makes Rude's tights is an airbrushing god.

Next match. Hacksaw Jim Duggan vs Bad News Brown. My one and only note on this match is this is an extreme match before extreme matches existed. Seriously, it was pretty brutal for the time. Chair shots and 2x4's were used. It was a short match, but it was nice to see something a little more raw for it's time.

Last match and the main event!

Macho Man vs. Hulk Hogan

So this is supposed to be super explosive. They've had so many promos for this match it's crazy. I have high hopes, but I know... I just know. It's Hulky. He's going to screw Macho Man. I haven't been told anything going into the match per my husband's instructions. So here's what I got out of the match.

So yeah. Hulk Hogan gets beaten up for 15 minutes, gets totally destroyed and any other decent wrestler would have sold the hell out of what Macho Man did to him, but the Hulkster can't sell worth crap and can't let any of his precious ego get in the way. So instead of doing his so called best friend a solid and pretending to be hurt for a little while, Hulk stands up after the 15 minutes of awesome beat down by Macho Man and acts like it was all nothing and beats Macho Man in, like, three moves. It was terrible. Lame ass win for Hulk Hogan. Totally expected.

The best part of the match is listening to Jessie Ventura. Jessie spouts off his mouth through the whole match about how terrible Hulk is, how Hulk is stealing Elizabeth from Macho Man, and how he's the worst friend ever to the Macho Man. Everyone at the time before the internet probably thinks Jessie's just being a typical heel commentator  but knowing what I know now about the Hulkster, Jessie's probably just saying a bunch of the truth, which makes it even more hilarious to listen to. It's awesome.

So that's WrestleMania V. 

Old School Wrestling: Survivor Series 1988 and Royal Rumble 1989

Survivor Series 1988

The Survivor Series can be summed up in a short paragraph. We watched the Survivor Series about a month ago and it was a bunch of group tag team matches. They all started out pretty well. The best one was the one with the Rockers, the first appearance of Shawn Michaels. All of the matches fell apart by the end of them. They were long and boring. It was one of the most dull pay per view's we've watched so far. If you want to skip one of the old school PPV's, skip this one.

The last Survivor Series match is one that ends with Macho Man Randy Savage and Hulk Hogan being the only survivors. This, of course, turns into a Hogan love fest because Hogan can't stand anyone getting any more attention than he does.

It's funny. I didn't grow up watching any of these, so I don't have much love for the Hulkster. I really look back at Hogan and realize how he was really the bad guy in so many of his matches by today's standards. More of this in the next PPV.

And onto the Royal Rumble 1989!

This was a lot better than the Survivor Series. It started out with a two out of three falls match with Jim Duggan and the Hart Foundation (Bret Hart and Jim Neidhart) vs. Dino Bravo and The Fabulous Rougeaus (Jacques and Raymond). I like the two out of three falls matches. I wish they brought them back. It was a pretty ok match, but there were a few botches. Hacksaw Jim Dugun can get a crowd going like no one else, and they worked the crowd very well. Besides the few moments where the match felt like it was falling apart at the seams, it was a good start to the PPV.

There was a women's title match for once. I really enjoy the women's matches from this era. The Rockin' Robin defeated Judy Martin. It was interesting to me because Robin was pretty much a lightweight. If you take today's diva's and remove the fake breasts and hips, you'd have Robin, she was probably 90 pounds, tops. Judy Martin was a lot heavier, by at least 30-40 pounds. There were a lot of moments where they played up the weight difference. These days, the diva's are all the same size and weight, so you don't get to see heavy and light weight women. It was really fun to watch. Sensational Sherri was on commentary for the match and it was priceless to listen to her. Quality match!

The next match was King Haku vs. Harley Race. It was a meh match. I'm not a fan of Harley Race, but I haven't seen a match where he's in his prime, so it's not really fair for me to make many comments on him. I do want to see one of the matches of him in his prime.

The last match was the Royal Rumble! This is the first one to show up on a PPV, the last one was a televised event. I can tell they were still working out how to work out how some of the eliminations would work, they hadn't streamlined the over the top rope moves yet. It made it almost more fun to watch at times. There were a few moments where the match dragged on, though, especially near the end.

The promos were good, but Hogan's drove me crazy. He totally buried Randy Savage. One of the things that drove me nuts was that he went out of his way to remind everybody that he was the "real" champion even though Savage was the real champion; that Hogan was the "real" champion in the fan's eyes. What a way to treat a guy that's supposed to be your friend and tag team partner!

So Ax and Smash started out the match, then Andre the Giant came out right away. I always feel bad for Andre. At this point he's starting to look pretty worn out at times. He picks up near the end of his time in the match, though. At first he was really slow and tired looking. Anyway. The match starts out great. Really fun. Mr. Perfect comes out, it's nice to see him as he's just starting to pick up steam as a bad guy.

The match picks up a lot when Jake the Snake comes out. I'm really interested in Jake the Snake, seeing as I'm following him now days because he's been getting clean with DDP and has been turning his life around.

Shawn Michaels comes out. I love seeing the young Shawn Michaels. His hair is so poofy! He's out amongst a bunch of bad guys, and the crowd starts to go wild. They really like him. It's fun to see.

Jake gets eliminated quickly by Andre and here's where I can tell times have changed. Jake is a face, everyone's mad. So he goes to the back and gets Damien, his huge snake. Andre's story is that he hates snakes.  The mere appearance of the Undertaker can't make someone eliminate themselves in a Royal Rumble but Damien the snake can make Andre the Giant eliminate himself. Oh Damien the Snake. The Wiki for the Royal Rumble says Andre eliminated himself, but that's not entirely accurate. Jake the Snake throws Damien into the ring in a fit of rage and Andre throws himself over the top rope. So actually, a snake made Andre be eliminated.

Anyway. These days, a good guy throwing a fit and running back to the ring after being eliminated would have made them a bad guy. A good guy throwing a snake into a ring would have been a heel turn. But back then, it was showing everyone that the good guy was a strong character that didn't back down from a fight and got even.

Ok. So the match continues and Macho Man Randy Savage comes out. The crowd goes nuts! I love it. Then Hogan comes out. Ugh. Hogan.

Hogan, being Hogan, has to come out and throw as many guys over the top rope as possible. I'm sure he set some record for some number of years or something. I know he made the record on Warlord for the shortest exit out of the ring, a record that stood until Santino broke it in the Royal Rumble of 2009.

So Hogan does his thing and screws over Randy Savage and "accidentally" throws Savage over the top rope and eliminates him. Instead of throwing a huge crybaby fit like Hogan does later in the match, Savage gets to be the better man and shakes Hogan's hand. You know, like a real good guy. I just would like to point out that by that time's standards and today's standards, Macho Man Randy Savage remains the best of the good guys. I might be biased. Just a little bit.

Hogan gets eliminated by Akeem and the Boss Man and the Royal Rumble starts to look up.

Eventually the end of the match comes, by this point it has started to drag a little bit. The big stars have been eliminated and only Ted DiBiase and Rick Martel remain to come out. My guess is on Ted DiBiase winning, seeing as he's the only name I know. Four guys remain. Akeem, Big John Studd, Martel and DiBiase. Akeem and Martel were eliminated and it was down to Big John Studd and DiBiase. Now, I don't know anything about Big John Studd, so my bets were on DiBiase.

So imagine my surprise when DiBiase was thrown over the top rope. It wasn't the ending I was expecting at all. My husband, who has seen this before, knew that this was one of the last matches for Big John Studd. Per his Wiki page, it is considered one of his crowning achievements. Knowing that, I can see why they had him win.

It was a good match. A pretty good PPV. Better than the Survivor Series 1988.

Dreamtime Dreamscape: ... But Not DC

This is one of my more humorous dreams.

My husband and I were in the Marvel universe and for some reason we were watching a giant evil villain a lot like Galactus fighting Spider-Man and Capitan America. They weren't doing very well, and so I suggested to my husband that we get a few other heroes to help out, but for some reason we couldn't pick any other Marvel heroes.

We had to go to the DC universe. We had, essentially, a giant roster of them in a three ring binder. I started flipping pages. First one. Superman. Seemed like a good choice.

"No, no," my husband said. "It can't be Superman. Galactus has kryptonite lasers."

Somehow. He didn't have lasers a second ago. But now he did. Ok, Superman was out.

Next up. Batman.

"No, can't be Batman. Galactus has an Emo ray. Batman is too depressed and the Emo ray will defeat Batman."

Yup. Emo ray in my head came complete with black makeup and black nail polish and would defeat Batman.

Next up. Green Lantern.

"No, Galactus throws yellow bananas like Donkey Kong and Green Lantern can't fight against yellow bananas," my husband pointed out.

Oh right. Galactus turned into Donkey Kong with Galactus' head and ran around with huge gorilla arms throwing bright yellow bananas that knocked out all Green Lanterns. No, that wouldn't work.

One by one we flipped through the roster and each DC hero was tossed out for one reason or another. My dream sped up and we kept seeing Spider-Man and Capitan America fighting valliently, but desperate for help.

"To heck with this!" my husband swore. "To Mortal Kombat! Liu Kang and Johnny Cage will beat him, no problem!"

A grey load screen with the Liu Kang and Johnny Cage sprites from Mortal Kombat 1 filled my dream vision and they flew into a standard boss fight video game stage arena with a tired Spider-Man and Capitan America in the back of the party. Both were suddenly in their updated versions and my husband pointed out that the Mortal Kombat characters were strong against Galactus.

I woke up at this point, laughing to myself. It's a joke we have between the two of us that I'm a DC fan and my husband likes Marvel more, so it's hilarious that even in my dreams my husband prefers Mortal Kombat over DC. It's what he would have chosen in real life, too!

Binx, Smokey and Kendall's Birthdays!

We have a few birthdays around the house in January and February. Mine is January 31st, and as we found Binx and backtracked his birthday based on the age the APL guessed he was, we gave him my birthday as well. Smokey and Kendall's birthday is February 1st. Johnny knows this for sure because he was there the day they were born.

As such, we threw each cat a little birthday celebration! And by celebration, I mean they each got some gooshy food and we took pictures, then made them into super cute pictures. Aww, they're so adorable!

Happy 2nd Birthday Binx! Blow out your candles!

Happy 10th Birthday Smokey!

Happy 10th Birthday Kendall!

Max's Poetry Reading: I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

Once again Max, our poet cat, decided to write some poetry. This is what he came up with. See below for the text version.

Da free bird tinks of da over breezes
an’ da winds soft thru sighin’ trees
an’ da fat icky wormies da silly birdies eat
an’ names da sky his own.

But da caged bird be on da grave of dreams
he sees mah vistage, a nightmare scream
His clipped wings safe inda cage, I tried
so he warbles his throat to sing

Da caged bird sings
wit’ fear-filled trill
of cats unknown
we cats have will
for a dinner is heard
of bird on da kill
but da caged bird
sings for freedom

(Da bird is stupid
If freedom he takes
Dinner we cats
Will have to make.)

Based on I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou